Four Steps To Healing

Let me state the obvious, heartbreak hurts. We will do everything in our power to avoid it. We are talking about the girl who won't get a pet because she doesn’t want it to die. I reject loving or being loved because I fear the aftermath of if I am rejected. People leave, people get sick, people die. Tragically, these things are unavoidable.

When my heart is broken I lay in a bed or on a public couch because I can't be alone. My chest feels like waves have crashed over me for hours, I can't catch my breath. My stomach aches from the snot and saliva that I've swallowed from an unwavering cry. I often throw up because my body can't handle the pressure. My eyes burn, my back aches, I go days without eating until the flu like symptoms seize and I can breathe again. 

After you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 1 Peter 5:10

Step 1. Restore

Step one in healing includes being broken. The passage promises suffering for a little while. Don't make my mistake by trying to skip this step. If you are anything like me, being broken sounds terminal. I will avoid showing the emotion of desperation at all cost. In order to be fixed, mended, and replaced you have to admit that you are in a state of desperation. Hold tight to His promise "After you have suffered a little while, Christ Himself will...".

Practically: this step includes literally crying out to God, begging for His mercy. Screaming for the lifesaver before you drowned. Admit desperation and ask for restoration. 

Step 2. Confirm 

Step two to healing includes denying yourself. A victim of heartbreak often blames themselves for the result of the tragedy. "What if I", "I should have", "I'm not...enough". God promises to confirm. We scream "I'm not",  but He affirms "you are". Incline your ear to His affirmation. 

Practically: this step includes self discipline. We replay instances that we could have changed. This is worthless. Learn from mistakes, do not saturate with self condemnation. If and when you replay an instance that you regret or would change, take a mental note; how is God using this, or can God use this? Then pray, ask God to take it from you. Move forward. 


Step 3. Strengthen
I cower from truth because it hurts, I cling to instability because I fear rejection, I silence to avoid confrontation. Have the strength to be fearless. Embrace rejection, move forward during pain, stand firm to truth when lies flood. Don’t fear loss, accept change and use the strength given by God’s perfect grace to live without fear. 

Practically: this step is disconnecting from the source of pain, make personal boundaries. Don't let your heart incision scar bitterness, apply forgiveness. Heal with a battle scar, not a life festering wound. 


Step 4. Establish
This is the final step. Once you can breathe again; dry your eyes, stand firm. Establish your steps in Him. He is your identity, nothing can take your identity from you. Christ promises to establish you, His purpose is great. We lose, so that may we seek. Prepare your heart to continue to hurt. You can heal but still experience pain. A heart doesn't heal over night. Learn to live your life with a broken heart. You will be healed but you must continue to live. 

Practically: Open your blinds, get out of bed. Don't run from the beauty of loving or the gift of vulnerability because you fear death, loss, or rejection. Jesus knew that He would be betrayed by Judas, denied by Peter; yet He loved them fiercely. Love fiercely, forgive freely, live fearless.  

//The Perfect Little Christian